I forgive myself and begin being me!

If I want to forget,
I must full my gravity
with present,
Taste every moment,
Like a bee
Make honey
With melody of leaves.

I must become silent
And let my heart leads me
To mornings,
to nights,
To places that I pledged with silence,
To listen,
To the chanting of two lovebirds
On branches of the poetry tree
In our back garden.
Where the ancient me
Slept on the purple cloth of memories,
Uncertain if she is alive or dead,
wasn’t it all a dream?

I must float in veins of time,
To remember the first pain,
The one,
I want to forget the most.
Ancient me,
walking on grave yards of
many unfinished,
unsaid emotions,
Collecting the fragile
pieces of my soul.

If I want to forget,
I must re-join with the path,
that once
Swallowed me,
like a small red fish,
Into its huge dark unknown.

I am walking up the stair cases,
Hidden in mist,
To find the next foot path
The new way of seeing,
Above my current
intese beliefs.

Between two feelings,
Two doors,
Two different me.
Enough gap for my mind,
To pick lilies and make me run
After the imaginary thief.

How often,
I sat in our back garden,
With my mother,
Ate plums and gossiped,
While the radio played
The new world’s symphony.
How often,
I baked apple pie for my father
And shares it
under the summer shade.

My heart is caged,
In our back garden’s memories,
Where, I never needed
to become an adult,
I enjoyed our sharing,
Our togetherness,
But no dreams
could delay the awakening,
Not even the shared ones.

I grow up to be a sage,
Not to choose side roads,
But to stay in present
And start my tomorrows
From here.
They chose different
The never left the back garden,
The poetry tree is gone,
The grasses are too long,
Too dry,
Need a trim,
now, tomorrow is too late.

I am saying “No”
To memories, to stories,
To a lifetime cage,
So I could forget,
Merge the two different me,
Make a round silver moon
Surrender with shimmering stars
Floating in silent
that never ends.

I say “Yes”
To soul that I am,
to life.
I forgive myself
And begin
being me.

© Serena Devi, August 2011

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