Floating in tides

The quiet light,
In depth of my heart,
each tide.

I have been seeking
My soul,
Through centuries,
the broken fragile pieces
From all the places,
On earth,
Or in my heart
I lived a lie.

kept quiet and waited
under the nails of time
till all my skin got pealed.
And finally,
My soul rescued me.
My imagination of life
Was far more lucid,
Than what I really lived and felt.

I was not a refuge,
Neither an immigrant,
My soul
my home,
but ,
I didn’t know,
How to open the door,
Without being noticed
By the shadow.
I kept quiet and watched
My beautiful soul.
I loved her walk, her grace,
Her unsaid words,
I loved her gentle touch,
her creative hands,
Just with her,
I shared all the secrets
Talked and cried this way.

I kept quiet,
Inside the mirror,
I witnessed
The broken pieces of her
Scattered all over my existence,
When I needed to say,
I cannot take anymore
I won’t disfigure myself
For the sake of
your acceptance.
I kept quiet,
I lost my figure, my identity,
I was left bare alone,
In dark,
covered in thorns.
They wanted me dead,
So I died gradually,
I lost track of summers,
warmth left my heart
I forgot, how beautiful
We danced together,
How much I needed her close.

I spent 40 earthy years
To deny my true self,
For the sake of acceptance
Of my parents,
my society, my nation.
That never came
In process,
My soul shrunk away
To nothing.

How deeply the cry of a human
Can move us…
I cried that deep, that long.
Ignorance was the only reply.

There is always a new day,
A chance to throw a coin in the air
And know there are possibilities
more than two…

“I” kept quiet,
For that I must forgive myself
And let go of others .

The end of collecting
is close,
I am a complete soul,
with speechless strength
In my quiet light,
floating in tides.

© Serena Devi, August 2011

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