The veil

received_10207408590030499Diary – 15th September 2015

Few days ago, I had a brief encounter with a yoga teacher whom appeared to be enlightened and in touch with his essence.  I need to remind, this contact took place on line. As we chat and rapport began building up, he told me he has a great interest in creating and building shapes and form with body. As me being unaware of his ideas and techniques, childishly I continue the chat. The next day, when I opened the social media we were chatting, I saw a short note, limited to a few words, form, shape, light and in attachments wad two half naked picture of him, a wonderful photography technique but beyond my imagination that all creative sense of this new friend focus on self-nude  exposed. I still kept the face up and took a deep breath, as the energy between us was developing into a sensual one, I was observing my own feelings and how am I relating to this sharing. Having arrived to this new adventure and also a challenge, I went back to him asking if he is in a relationship. Calmly and confidently he informed ne, he has a beautiful girlfriend, but they are not in living relationship, means each has their own home and are very open with each other and both interested in exploring more of different facets of life. I took a moment of silence and express my view on relationship and marriage which I value and consider a sacred bond. I suggested we move with care and awareness. Before. I know, he was in Bathroom, sending photo of the tub and saying bath is sensual and in few seconds I got the last photo with him standing with a tight sheet around his hips, showing all his body parts and title was the veil!!!  I told him immediately this is impropriate and I do not welcome such an expose and push of his masculine energy in my feminine space.

It took few hours for me to digest what was really happening. At what level, I co created this. Of course it was a connection and chemistry between us, when this experience shaped and I followed my sense and interest to know this person. For me, spiritually is a breath I take and truth of all happening comes before my own intake and valuation. So, here is to everyone who wants to expand and explore life in a deeper sense. Internet has made a global connection possible for all of us, to meet, share and learn. We are one and as much we wish to keep this oneness and experience more of our own wholeness, honoring other people’s inner space and integrity is as much as important. I did enjoyed my interaction to this fellow traveler on earth to the level which was a mutual interest to know, mirror and reflect back. And I was disappointed, shocked after the tub scene, that I was left with a choice of walking away and honor my feminine and also question myself, what on earth I have act that gave this man permission to shove his masculine energy into my soft and open space.

I am writing this not of disrespect and di value toward this person, but of concern for women whom for centuries been used physically, emotionally and even mentally without consent by unconscious masculinity. And kept themselves in fear and helplessness instead of standing in their power and truth. Still at the edge of all spiritual shifts and evolution, women are pushed and forced into undesired circumstances by unaware and unconsciousness masculinity and whose fault is that!! I share my life experience and walk my path in transparency and trust in my divine nature, I do believe us all here to do and be the essence, the source within us is pure, boundless and open. Part of our earth education is balancing our bodies and souls, our feminine and masculine and until we learn this dance, we all meet our shadow sides which only reflects through the life events and people. I came out of this experience stronger and more clear on who I am and what I allow in my consciousness and space. I see this man as a teacher who helped me to recognize my choices at a deeper level and trust my inner guidance and protect my purity and innocence of soul and being and invite humans, men and women to focus more in nature of their doings, sharing and offering. My heart is heavy still, as I wanted to have this new friendship and valued our sharing until it became masculine masturbation than exploring and unveil soul’s beauty. Time to live consciously and it takes much more than nice words, poetry and calling oneself a teacher.


photos: Self taken by the Yoga teacher

3 responses to “The veil”

  1. I replied by email…. I feel your frustration and also honorable presence in your commitment. Let see how dance of sensuality can touch us our beings across ocean.

  2. Life keeps bringing scenarios for us to master our game. I just came out of 9 year celibacy and amazed of how I managed to feel my desires and be aroused and not act on. Now, the wilderness is out and even now more than ever I feel unified internally /God, I feel so much of body desire to be touched, sensually and sexually. You are right, part of my female program was space for intimacy to speak, also the taboo of if I have sexual act with someone and it will be a bare experience I am no good. Today, I opened up to a new way of relating, agreement, wheel of consent, search it on line, I feel open to explore within this personal agreement and not define myself or the other… it is open relationship but not in that sense I want/ he wants to have different partners, mainly openness to act on or not, without emotional charges and story making. I have no partner yet, have a feeling universe delivers whatever we are and right now I feel like a tantric Goddess. Let me know how you are.

  3. Hi Serena, I know it has been a long time since we have been in conversation and that this post was from quite some time ago. But as I read the words, I felt compelled to message you. I do this because you are such an intentional person. And though I have only one side of the conversation, I am quite certain that what this guy did was broke intention with you. You may have arrived at the same place, but he took leaps and jumps while you were processing, as you always do, with a sense of slow sensuality and intention. You were listening closely for where he was. He was not listening as closely for you were. I think, stereotypically, men make this mistake as they think an invitation is an invitation to everything. As you well know, each door must be opened with care and a soft knocking to see if access is to be granted. Sure . . . there are those moments of abandon where every door is flung open in passion. But that’s not the path you were walking. And he should have heard that. Once again, your beautiful sexuality and sensuality amazes me. I wish I was that liberated. Thanks for what you do. Cut yourself some slack. Grace abounds.

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