The Ache of Rebel


How could we walk on earth hold on nothing, stand on ground of unknowing and speak of our deepest ache, our forgotten courageous self and let it fall, the borders or personality, the daily masks.
We want answers and yet we do not know the true questions.
Going within frighten us. We refuse a simple intimate moment with our pain and welcome chaos of desires and burdens instead, to escape meeting our precious rebel, the wilderness of our heart.
Life moves in totality, it is her fluid nature to embrace all rise and fall of her own ocean. Pain and joy are sisters, storm and stillness are two sides of one coin.
We love the taste of honey, the sweetness of life in everything and our deepest fear of being not enough to receive such a gifts. We begin small, a bit joy here and there. Rebel wants freedom, thrives for unmeasured moments. Life for a rebel is a ongoing journey and pain is a necessity of growth. It is the courage make a flower opened up and exposed to sun. Any rose has a story to tell, any butterfly know the difference between cocoon and sky.
It is not always gentle or even sweet, the intimate touch of what breaks our hearts and give wings to dreams. The humanness could be heavy, even a burden when we do not see and trust our inner rebel.
We lived to believe in stories of chain and dungeons, demon and evil Queens. The world is the mirror of our inner fears, this disguised reverent feeling is exactly what the remedy to our hearts. Perhaps our fear of life is the place we must begin to step into present and listen to what speaks inside. The sweet hum, the noisy nag, the patient of nature in our vein, the comfort of our dreams, the fertility of our feelings, the ache of rebel, our deepest longing – to meet ourselves, how much courage do we need to say “yes”, I am here.
“I am your Man, I am your Woman. I no longer deny, manipulate an hide from greatness of life beauty that breathe me into moments. “
In midst of stream of all happening, we have a chance to be the source of everything in our life. Not by following certain law of attractions rules, not by transforming our thoughts and feelings. By being naked, open and without expectation to life. The nature of femininity carries such a willingness, receptivity to hold our pain, our forgotten wounds. The femininity of creation offers such a vast space for transmuting infections of our imperfection of mind and heal life, even when storm calling out our inner darkness, this rooted love inside the womb of creation, invite the rebel into the light of truth. To stand in present moment. Without justification or excuse. Without a persona and mask, but as a true symbol of love, compassion and gentleness to embrace our struggles as humans. To only conquer mind and free us to listen, to this encouraging melody of wilderness and undiscovered beauty inside of each being.
Our attempts is to live a life without a gravity, tendency and judgment, this is our highest potential. The urge to rise in beauty and sincerity of our own beings with no holding back.
Rebel is helpless hero with one task repeating to ultimate mastery; be ordinary! Be earth, be water, be human, be God.
In whatever form it appears, be silent and let it be.
Acceptance of the unacceptable is the grace of a flight into the light. Have you been by shores, when light darkens and seagulls sense the arrival of a wind, they cry and ocean roars with them. Perhaps, It takes one life time observation to open up to what truly is the nature of wilderness in human heart, it might requires few lifetimes to drop the heaviness of mind and useless thinking, to find a courage and dive into wind, not knowing where it takes us. Seagulls are brilliant teachers, ocean is mother of fluidity and receptivity and yet one roar of her, brings shiver to all rigid stones and standing trees. The power of rebel, the ache of endurance inside. The mystery of power lies in surrendering to all rise and fall of moments, call it life. Call it Divine. It is the greatness worth dying for.
This is a mastery not coming by practice or even courage, it comes by breaking into pieces. By letting life touches every corner of every moment of you and your breath.
Slow, sensual, fully awake and ordinary.
Rebel is the softest part of your heart, also the strongest. Rebel is love.

Serena Seraphim