On this day, I sit on a bench in Beloved’s Garden
With a heart full of uncertainty.
With eyes looking inside
With Skilled hands passionate to create,
With a hidden song in my soul, waiting for her time
To be heard.
Knowing all sounds in this universe are monologues.
On this day, I died many times and reborn.
On this day, I fell in love with many faces of myself, in others,
in games of mirrors.
On this day, the source of my pain and longing
became my joyful ache into oneness.
It was always this way,
The Way of God, to awakening.
Pressing thorns into heart,
While the songs of others,
Echoes in small and large doses
of emotional peaks inside.
Some left a mark like a cross,
others, remembrance of fragrance of
It was no other way, except the self- dialogue!
On sunny or rainy days.
Except sitting on a bench in God’s Garden,
Waiting for myself
To wake up.
On this day,
on every day of life,
I delved deep into heart
Into discovery of universe,
All in a simple monologue.
I called the other side of it,
Just to make it real,
but it is always created by me.
We all do this, don’t we?
As children, our invisible friends,
coming for a tea party,
Or the monsters under the bed,
that we keep the lights on for.
Childhood world is full of mysteries
no adult will understand, or even remember.
I guess, I never grow up in that way.
Ex- friends and lovers are having tea parties
and room became full of light
no monsters could even hide anywhere,
inside or out.
Today, I woke up with deep sadness,
Like a cloudy sky, loaded with water
Wanting to burst out, in tears.
Help me God, to end this final whirl
Let the song be heard
and my monologue ends peacefully.
Completion of endless repetition
Of orbits of light
and this long self-dialogue.
Neither I can stop,
Nor you can appear!
My bones are tired,
so much stretched in this human garment,
To pack and unpack, here and the next,
All temporaries of life.
Spin after the spin.
Release the centre
Let monologue ends
In universal song of love.
and my soul
leaves this garment
On this day forward,
Lullaby is the final song
of my soul.
2nd October 2021, Istanbul